16 Comments

Would You Change Your View?

Recently, one of my grandchildren friends was diagnosed with cancer. During the coarse of treatment, my daughter, along with three other women, became involved with a fundraiser to help his family with the costs involved with his treatment.

These four young ladies who went out to raise money by holding a dinner and dance for the young child. If they met their goal of raising ten thousand dollars, they were going to shave their heads. The community came to support the cause, overwhelmingly! So up on the stage, the women and some friends of the boy, took it all off. I applauded them for the contribution they made to the family.

A few days later, my daughter was running around doing errands. She found people were treating her differently. She said they had a look of empathy in the eyes, they were letting her into line-ups ahead of others and other such niceties. She found herself explaining she was not ill, simply folicaly challenged, temporarily.

My question is, do you think you treat people with physical differences, differently, when in public or private?

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16 comments on “Would You Change Your View?

  1. Good or bad, I’m sure I would. But I wish I could look at people’s hearts instead. Still, most people feel compassion for another who appears to be battling cancer and I can’t see anything wrong with that part of it.

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  2. I don’t think I do. I am pretty sure I wouldn’t try to point out something like that unless someone told me it was okay, and told me about it.

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  3. I try to pretend the differences don’t exist, but if I see someone who shaved their head like your daughter and her friends or who lost their hair due to cancer, I cannot help but feel respect for them. Kudos to your daughter for such courage!

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    • Thank you for you comment! It is a subject that I feel needs to be addressed now and then, for me, just to keep me in check. If I find I have changed my value of respect first, then I need to get back on track PDQ.

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  4. I’d like to say I wouldn’t… but pitty and respect do change behavior… even mine, I’m sure.

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  5. Many physically challenge people want to feel normal, so i respect their decision until asked for help. I don’t want to treat others different because i imagine if i were to be in that decision, i would hate taking pity from everyone else.

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  6. I think good people can’t help but be more empathetic, and a general sense of being ready to lend a hand if needed. I don’t go so far as to “separate” or have them stand out from the crowd, just a general sense of helpfulness without assuming helplessness on their behalf. (Does that make sense? LOL)

    I know I try to do what I can on my own, but I certainly don’t get offended if I’m struggling with a heavy door and someone helps me with it…

    Love this post Liz, and love your other followers!
    Tami

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  7. I have a son with Autism who has taught me so much. As a mother I have often wanted to protect him, do things for him, make him fit in a bit more. But he resists this with all his might. He will persevere to the point of driving me insane, just to accomplish something small by himself. I have learnt to put my hands by my side until I am asked for help otherwise I do more harm than good. I have learnt to keep my thoughts of pity and empathy in check otherwise we fail to see the person first and instead only see the disability or the difference.
    I adore your daughter and I haven’t even met her in person. Not only has she given someone a gift of her time, efforts and money…. and hair (precious to every woman). She has also walked in ‘shoes other than her own’ and has experienced the ‘otherside’.

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    • I sure can rlelate to this Selasie. Our youngest has autism as well. It was a fight through school and the start of his working years. If it wasn’t for Randy and his tough love attitude, I would have been a coddling mother. He is now a supervisor-in-training for an olifield company. Aside from the stress that comes with the job he’s doing great! He has a beautiful wife and four little girls now. So there is something to be said for letting them have their little victories, they do turn into even greater ones. I think of Temple Grandin as well and what she accomplished during her struggle with autism. Amazing!
      But back to the question at hand, Yes keeping the pity and empathy in check is necessary. As for my daughter, I applaud her as well, and my grandson too. The boy they did this for is still fighting the battle but coping well. Thanks for commenting!

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